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Or ... how to build a relationship with your mailing list. Building a relationship with a largely anonymous list of people who have randomly subscribed to your ezine or newsletter sounds like a hard challenge. In fact, it is much easier than you may think. Of course, you'll need to demonstrate a few character traits in the things you write. For example, you won't get far unless your honesty and ethics are unquestionable. Reliability and trust are the foundation of any good relationship and you'll need to build on them with charm and empathy for your reader's feelings. Add in a generous sprinkle of outspokenness and the ability to keep your writing newsworthy and current and you have a winning combination. Not all of these factors come naturally to everyone, but learning them is vital. Let's concentrate here on the key factors that I believe you can learn that will set your writing apart from 99% of the rest, and give you a head start in building relationships with your readers. These are the things you can put into action from today. The absolute number one secret - and if you stop reading this article before the end the vital information you must take a way with you - is that you can't build a relationship with a list. Relationships are for people. You and me. Kickstart Today, the newsletter I've been writing for years, is read by thousands of subscribers, but every single paragraph is, in my mind at least, written to just one person. It may be a reader who asked a question. Sometimes it is a close friend who I imagine is sitting in front of me. Next issue it may even be you. Keeping the image of one person in your mind is easy. Your writing becomes more of a conversation. And the more you write the easier it gets because readers will naturally write to you with comments and you can then keep them in mind as you answer them. You'll find that the better you get at writing to one person at a time, the more of your readers will resonate with what you've said. It is human nature to project ourselves into a situation and, by and large, we all share similar thoughts and concerns. Everybody loves to eavesdrop, but the reality is by writing one-to-one, everyone will think you are writing to them personally. But as soon as you write one-to-many, it becomes impersonal and bland. There are two often-repeated bits of advice that you'll hear time and again: 1. Eliminate the I's and Me's and maximize the 'you's'. 2. Train your list into a buying mood by selling them something every time you communicate with them. Both are nonsense if building relationships that are what you want to do. The information that you provide in your writing is only one reason that people read what you have to say. Newsletters that are totally focused on topic tend to be quite boring to read. There is no personality. You can't build a relationship if you write like a text book. It is vital - especially online - to inject yourself and your life into what you write. In my opinion - and experience - you simply can't talk about yourself too much! Whenever I talk about my family and friends, the number of emails I get from subscribers eager to know more rockets! Of course, you can't run a newsletter that is entirely about you! That stuff should only be the icing on a rich, content-filled cake. A well-written newsletter is a balance between fulfilling its task of educating and informing and entertaining. The very best are like soap operas that make you want to know what is happening next in the writers' life. Talking about the everyday personal things that happen in your life is how to build a relationship with your list - one person at a time, because the same things are happening in your reader's lives. Each time your life compares with one of your reader's experiences, resonance happens and you've found another soul mate. The other advice - that you should attempt to sell something with every communication - needs a very special kind of writer to manage successfully. Certainly there are newsletters that manage to promote multiple recommendations in every single issue - and a few 'interim' ones besides - but in the main they are from long established writers who have a lot of experience writing to very loyal readers. The vast majority of writers can't manage it without looking desperate, dishonest or lacking in ethics. When I write my own newsletters, Kickstart Today in particular, I can sometimes go several weeks without recommending anything at all. After all, if I haven't been using or reading something worth telling people about it is usually best to keep quiet! That way, when I do mention something that I genuinely recommend, the response is excellent. Frequency of publication is another factor to consider that can affect your relationship building with your readers. Many ezines and newsletters publish monthly - way to infrequently, in my view, for serious relationship building. Even weekly publication can be slow if you are not a strong and personal writer. As you develop as a writer you'll find it easier to write more often. You don't need to write huge newsletters every time - it is the frequency of contact that matters, not the length of your prose! So long as you are interesting and amusing you can publish every day if you like. Just don't become boring! I still get dozens of emails whenever I skip an issue! It goes without saying that over-use of other people's writing in your newsletter can damage your relationship building if you aren't careful. Which brings me to content. Many people still think that a newsletter can be a mish-mash of guest articles. I'm sorry to have to tell you that that particular model stopped working well several years ago. Now, your readers want to hear what you think, what you have to say, what your experiences are. And to provide them with that you've got to sit down and learn to write. And while we are talking about writing, try to unlearn most of what you've been taught about grammar. You are not writing for your English teacher, you should be writing like you are talking to a close friend. Write conversationally, using conversational grammar (sentences CAN start with and, contractions are better than okay!) Which brings us right back to the beginning - when you sit down to write, every paragraph that leaves your fingers is a conversation with one person who is sitting in front of you. An old friend, not a list. Relationship building has nothing to do with lists, it is about reaching one person at a time.
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