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It is unfortunately often the case that parents are so consumed by the trying to sort out the details of a messy divorce (or even fighting each other!) that due attention is not paid to the needs of the children involved. This can, of course, lead to situations where child custody agreements are more or less cobbled together at the last minute or where kids just end up with one parent almost by default. A situation like this can obviously lead to a lot of heartache and 'what ifs' somewhere down the line. It is obviously much easier to sort out the best possible child custody agreement at the outset than to try and remedy past mistakes. You should therefore try to make very sure that you approach the custody situation of your kids in a calm, deliberate and proactive manner. It is so easy to allow yourself to become overwhelmed by the emotional impact of a breakup and to therefore approach custody agreements as if you are going to war! The thing is that even if you see things in warlike terms you still need to keep in mind that the one thing that is most important for those operating at the highest levels in the military can be summed up in one word: Strategy! Strategy can be defined as a well thought out set of plans and/or procedures that you will follow to achieve a certain goal. It also involves the study of certain variables and likely responses to them. It is the kind of thing that needs to be approached with clear thinking and with a cool head. It should be noted that merely going in 'with all guns blazing' does, in most cases, not qualify as being a 'good strategy'! You owe it to yourself, and most of all to your kids, to have a good long think about ways in which their best interests can be served. You should also do everything that you can to familiarize yourself with the world of child custody agreements and with tactics and techniques that can form part of your overall strategy. Most of us are perhaps not natural strategic thinkers but it is a skill that you will need to develop in order to achieve the best possible child custody agreements. I would therefore encourage you to, if you are facing child custody issues, do everything that you can to approach this difficult phase of your life in the same way that a master strategist thinks about meeting a certain objective: Research, Analyze, Weigh Alternatives, Anticipate Responses, Decide, Act!
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