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Many people try to better themselves in life. They strive to be better at work, be a more supportive partner and parent and advance themselves in career and finances. Most fail. Why is this? Well the bottom line is: you can't achieve anything worthwhile in life unless you have a healthy amount of self-respect, confidence and high self esteem. Unfortunately most people have a very low opinion of themselves albeit unconsciously. There are people who tolerate abusive or non-supportive relationships, stay in dead-end unfulfilling jobs and keep their dreams locked away in the dark recesses of their minds never daring to set goals for achieving them. What these people lack is a basic belief in themselves and their abilities. Is there something you would like to achieve in your life or improve but you lack the belief that it is possible for you? Do you see other people succeed and believe that others can do but you can't? We all suffer from some form of self-doubt. This is a necessary part of the human condition. Self-doubt can keep us safe. It is designed to keep us safe. You have a great deal of doubt that you could walk on water and therefore do not drown. You doubt that you are capable of walking on fire and therefore do not get burned. However, many of our doubts are unfounded and have their roots in the soil of low self-esteem! If one human has achieved something great then other human beings can achieve it also. If you have dreams and desires rejoice. Ask yourself if you believe God would have given you such dreams and desires if you were incapble of achieving them? Do you think the Creator would be so cruel? You must realise that you would not have these dreams if you were not capable of achieving them! However, you must learn the skills you need to learn to achieve your goals and make your action worthwhile. But, before you acquire the necessary knowledge and skill to complete the task of achieving your goals it is of major importance that you first believe that you are capable of achieving them. To build faith and the belief that your goal will be accomplished you must first build faith and belief in yourself. You must build your confidence in your abilities and strengthen your self esteem. This will radically alter your self-image and you will start to view yourself as a winner and someone who can achieve his goals. Here are four easy to follow steps to building your self esteem and changing your self-image. 1. The first step to high self esteem is to stop berating yourself. We all criticise ourselves. Some do it constantly. This is one of the most damaging things you can do with your thought processes. Be compassionate with yourself when you make mistakes, we all make them. Give yourself congratulations for the very fact that you have overcome your past adversity and lived to fight another day. No matter what painful experiences you have had in the past rejoice in the fact that they have helped to make you the person you are today - wiser and more capable. When you find yourself berating yourself then stop and reverse it. Look for the things that you did right in the situation. If you hadn't have dealt with the situation in the way you did might it have turned out worse? 2. Start to give yourself forgiveness for your previous short-comings. Forgive yourself for any past mistakes you may have made. Write them down if you want and read over them. Take the paper and tear it into tiny pieces, Then throw it away or go outside and let the wind take it for you. This is symbolic of you releasing the past and moving on. 3. Give yourself some approval. Look for the things you have done correctly. Review all the things in life that you have achieved both recently and in the long past. Allow yourself to accept that you have done things right. Give yourself compliments when you achieve even the smallest of objectives. When you complete a goal or obtain an objective reward yourself. 4. Learn to love yourself. Each day for 5 or 10 minutes stand in front of a mirror. Look into your own eyes and say out loud "I love and accept you just as you are." In the beginning this simple exercise can be extremely hard to do. Many people have become so accustomed to beating themselves up that they have forgotten how to nurture themselves. When you do this exercise you will find thoughts and feelings arising that contradict what you are saying. This is the perfect opportunity to release these past negative, false beliefs. When such thoughts arise do not try to suppress them. Instead allow them to surface and allow yourself to fully feel the emotions that are attached to them. This is vitally important. Suppressing an emotion will keep it active and the thoughts that are linked to it. By allowing the feeling to be fully expressed in your body it will naturally dissipate. If you find some stubborn feelings and thoughts persisting then stop for a moment and give them some real thought. Is that really true about you? Is it possible that the belief you now hold could be incorrect? When you follow these simple exercises you will build your self esteem to heights unimagined. You will find that many parts of your life start working without any effort from you and also find achieving your goals is much easier. A by-product of this increased self esteem will be better relationships. Your closest interpersonal relationships will benifit greatly from the work you are doing and it will all happen naturally and efortlessly. It is by loving yourself that you truly learn to love other people. When you have respect for yourself other people are tuned into this and it sends them a clear unconcious message about how you want to be treated. Treat yourself with respect,, love, compassion and kindness and others will treat you that way also.
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