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The problem is that children don't arrive with an owner's handbook. Which is tragic, really, considering the fact that they are embarking on the most important task of their lives. After all, the success of their children depends, to a large part on their success as parents. And the success of each generation, of the neighborhood, even of the country and the continent, depends, to a large extent, on the success of that generation's parents in raising them. By definition, most parents are "average" and their children grow up to lead "average" lives. They find, and keep, a job, find a loving partner, and do a reasonable job of raising the children. But in an increasingly complex society, is that good enough? First, if average is average, then half the population are below average. We see the results of that all around us - crime, poverty, prostitution, homelessness, child abuse and so on. And we see the cycles of depravation repeated from one generation to the next. As ineffectual parents pass on their lack of skills to their children. Suppose, just for a moment, that we could do raise this general standard? Suppose that, before these damaged and deprived children, they could learn some new skills, new ways of understanding the parenting process so that they don't have to just repeat the mistakes of their own parents? Wouldn't that benefit us all in the long run? Second, in a multi-cultural, complex society we need ever better leaders. Men and women who are "whole" - not bogged down by insecurities, hurts and fears that result in corruption, hidden agendas and selfish ambition. We need leaders, in all areas of society, not just politics, who have a capacity for love, generosity, compassion and tolerance. From where do such qualities come? From growing up in secure, loving, and confident families, that's where. Third, look to your own family. Look at how you were raised. Most likely your parents did the best they could, yet I am sure you can see areas in which they failed - with resulting hurts and insecurities that have bogged you down for your entire life. You don't want to pass that on to your children, but are you really any better informed about the process of bringing up children than your parents were? But how can we teach them all that unless we ourselves have been taught? And if all that we have been taught comes solely from what our own, fallible, parents passed on, and from what we have, by chance, picked up from movies, TV, and our friends and neighbors, is it not surprising that the raising of our own children becomes a rather hit-and-miss affair? So why is it that the idea of getting some training as a parent is so repugnant to most people? Why is there such a social stigma to the idea of admitting that, when it comes to raising kids, we don't know it all? Are we nuts? Most people who are sensible recognize the need for training for just about any activity in life - indeed, they positively go out of their way to seek more education and more training so as to enhance their skills and, in turn, enhance their lives. Yet when it comes to raising their children they think they can just make it up as they go along? Most mothers, these days, take ante-natal classes to prepare for the birth of their new baby. Why? Because they want to give their baby the best chance of a safe and successful birth. But that was the easiest part! Far more difficult is knowing what to do with this child for the next 18 years! But no-one seeks preparation and training for that! Isn't it time that this changed? Isn't it time that we made a more deliberate, and systematic, effort to better equip parents with the parenting skills and advice they need? To bring it closer to home, take a look at your own life? If you have children, are you doing the best you can? How do you know you are? You don't know what you don't know, so if you have not had some teaching, how can you know that you are doing all you can to inspire and motivate your children? That you are adapting your behavior to match their temperament so as to best give them confidence and teach them responsibility? Wouldn't it be worth to spend a bit of time and money to read some books, attend a seminar, or watch a DVD so that you can understand them even better? And how will your children learn good parenting skills? Should they just watch what you do and copy that? Do you not think that something this basic should be taught in school, along with the three R's as a vital life skill? So, next time you watch the news and see yet another tragic shooting, murder, suicide or rape, ask yourself how different it might have been if that person's parents, and grandparents, had had some decent guidance on the challenging task of raising their kids? Then go and get yourself a parenting book. Read it. Discuss it with your friends. You might be amazed at what you discover!
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Dr. Noel Swanson's website provides free expertwww.good-child-guide.com/parenting/”> parenting tips and advice - you will also find a free chapter to his highly acclaimed book, the GOOD CHILD Guide. You can also meet with other parents on a www.yesparenting.com/forum/”>parenting forum. Feel free to grab a unique version of this article from the Unique Articles Submissions Service
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