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Phase 1: The thought that gives you goosebumps. Your biological alarm goes off. Every baby is unbelievably cute. Am I ready for kids? They are pretty darn cute. Why not? Plus, making babies is quite fun! Phase 2: Heavy with Child You check your calendar to see that your period is late. Oh my. This really could be happening. Your heart beats faster at the thought of having a baby on the way. Your bladder pushes you to go to the bathroom as you feel a kick in your stomach. Skip ahead a few months. The kicks, elbows, backaches, and swollen ankles become common place. You gasp as you spot varicose veins. Who could have done this to your body? Wow - was that you swearing like a trouper? Puff puff, pant pant, "you *****ing *****, I'm never **** going to **** with you again! Oh, Oh, Oh, Ah... isn't she sweet? let's see. ten fingers, ten toes, Oh she's just perfect, isn't she, darling?" Phase 3: Creating a "first" for every occasion. You have lost your precious sleep time. Your nipples are beyond sore and you are going delirious from dieting. However, your precious bundle of joy can harm no one. She is perfect with a perfect smile. She just found her little toes. She tastes them. Maybe she is hungry you laugh. A long list of first time events unfolds. She sits, crawls, stands, and walks to you all on her own. She can eat solid food and go to the potty. You are filled with immense pride. That is, until she has a tantrum, but the tantrum is only temporary. The television takes place of fun, stories and games. First kindergarten or school: a mixed blessing. Where did my baby go? Phase 4 Playgrounds, parties and alphabets. How fast they change from being cuddly babies to young, independent, school kids. In some English private schools they even wear a uniform with cap and tie (for the boys)! The bathroom humor surfaces. Who knew relieving one's self could be so funny. Their first best friend, and first rejection. Scraped knees in the playground. And, of course, their first "it's not fair!" You want them to be independent, but it is hard. Why can't you have the ability to protect them from the world? Phase 5 - Reading, 'Riting and 'Rithmatic Play times fall by the wayside when they have to learn the alphabet and addition. It may be easier for your child or it may feel like the teacher is speaking Chinese. If your child succeeds easily you have a fairly smooth ride ahead of you. If your child has trouble then you will have many potholes on the road called "school". She can be tough to deal with, but she is sweet when she asks for a pony for Christmas. Remember they are not babies. They need to follow rules and do their chores. Phase 6: Almost a teenager Girls will be girls and boys will be boys - and never the two shall mix. Well, why would they? The girls are all into pink and giggle too much - and the boys are just too cool for such silliness. Clothes. You are just SO out of date mom! No one wears that anymore! And why should it matter if my pants are hanging down by my knees? Mom, these clothes are too small! Language. Well cool. The training bra and makeup come on. Puberty wreaks havoc on voices. Phase 7: They hit the social scene. Boys and girls discover the attraction to each other. They wonder if anyone has a crush on them. Your daughter gives you her advice and opinions whether you ask for them or not. Parents are out of style while friends are the top of their social list. Your daughter wants to stay out till the wee hours of the morning with friends. Why not? Everyone else is staying out that late. But, every now and then, you can have an amazing conversation with your new young adult - as long as you aren't trying to lecture them. Then, one day, the fireworks settle. The grunts turn into English again and like a phoenix from the ashes, and new (adult) human emerges - full of ideals and dreams and visions, but perhaps a bit short on confidence and wisdom. Phase 8: (So I'm not a mathematician.) Your daughter has moved out of the house to start a family of her own. Does she need help? Should you call her? You will always have a place in your heart for your children no matter what they do. The years will pass so quickly. Make the most of every one of them along the way.
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For more articles full of parenting advice by author Dr. Noel Swanson, go to his parenting advice website.
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