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We spend time and energy looking for that special person who will bring meaning to our lives. Relationships can be hard to handle if we don’t know what we want exactly. Good looks and charm aren’t everything after all. We at Bizymoms have tried to make this quest a little easier for you. Ask a woman what she wants in a partner and the response is usually ‘a good looking, sincere and caring person’. Here are some sensible approaches to choosing a good partner whether you are seventeen of thirty seven. 1) Shared interests This might be what gets you and your partner ticking in the first place. When two people like the same things, they enjoy being together and they will spend more time (and quality time) as a couple. Shared interest can override gender differences. For instance, men love sports and give it priority in their free time while women tend to like cooking, gardening, shopping and other household-related work as hobbies. If the lady in the relationship is an avid baseball fan, her man will love her for it! In the same way, if your partner likes to help you with the garden, you will be elated. It’s easy to get to know another when you both share preferences. But of course, this doesn’t happen all the time. 2) Chemistry Ok, so it’s not only the teens that should look for this! Chemistry is not only physical attraction; it’s the ‘feel good factor’ between two people who are attracted to each other. So it’s both physical and psychological. When there’s chemistry, it leads to flirting which is good for the soul. Two people who care for each other as friends and don’t share any chemistry may not get far in a relationship, although friendship can provide the basis for chemistry. 3) Attitude towards life and general values This is a criterion which tends to get overlooked in relationships. This is because the true understanding of one’s attitudes and values takes time. When we go on dates, we are in the ‘impress’ mode, which makes us act out of sync with our real traits. We show that we care deeply for social issues, for poverty, for animals and so on but when we start life with another, those issues take a backseat. It’s not that we purposely try to fool a prospective partner-sometimes it’s just instinctive to show the best you can be. So if you are a not a vegetarian, don’t imply otherwise thinking that you will be able to convert if the relationship goes well. If you are not willing to be on the move, don’t talk about any wander lust. Ever wonder how couples from different religious backgrounds/nationalities have great relationships? It's because they share the basic values. If two peace loving people come together, it doesn't really matter what God they worship. If you and your partner don’t share the same vision, how can you two build a life together? 4) Intellectual and financial compatibility You might think, that’s not relevant at all but these issues indirectly lead to squabbles and ultimately separation. They add to existing problems or create new ones. That's why any relationship advice should allude to intellectual and financial compatibility. If you are very quick on the draw, you’d like to be with a person who’d get your logic. Any blank ‘huh’ is not going to impress you. When two people are on a reasonably similar intelligence level, it’s easier to communicate and take important decisions together. This doesn’t mean that if you are a rocket engineer, you’ll have to marry a co-worker. Smart people are not necessarily the best educated ones. Finance wise, you have to ask yourself whether you will be satisfied marrying a man who earns much less than you do. The man might have a problem with it too. Research shows that men in general prefer to earn more than their lady because they consider it manly. The traditional role of the man is to be the provider. Times are changing but some basic gender patterns aren’t.
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